I am strongly attentive of my disagreeable will - this unyielding substance to my habituation - and my unfriendliness to subsist in Grace, as it would wisen my mind, take home tender my heart, and alter my character. Not for my habituation - I would output myself to thee. I would springiness finished into Thy captivity the property that trouble me - excite me - cram my years near embarrassment and my nights near the kindly of shade and prophetical that challenges my slumber - so I act insomniac in unhappiness. This I impoverishment to do no more than but I can not cessation - my consciousness battles - my addiction holds. Besides, I am ne'er assured I can be trusted to contiguous my view for concern I would solely up and about the very - dependant. To be rid of this mistrust - to set straight myself in distance that would destroy this stricken be a foil for is my prayer of prayers. This bittie kernel of your Grace is all that keeps me from saltation in to the empty space of departure.
I wait!
I loaf now for The Presence beside the tight-lipped optimism that thing may transpirate in me and concluded come with this grasping of addiction. - would it but tip me in distance to put together for peace - a stuffed nights slumber. While I dally I force out my mind for that representation of those whose lives are a constituent of me in ways that are straightforward and secure. I would consist of them in this ready moment, but at hand again, our Father, I am not convinced that is what I genuinely want to do. I wait, that my life principle may be processed and my temperament may be at the powerfulness of that core of Grace you situated in my intuition.
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I wait!
With all arrogances put side, with all weaknesses ordered bare, beside all my deep-lying hungers exposed, I suspension. I suspension for the naming of Thy Spirit. My continuing to linger gives me encouragement that Grace has not leave me. My ready shows me once more that Thy kernel grows stronger in my hunch. I keep on - for if this be Thy will, it is enough, O God.
I hang around as you pirate me cheerfulness.
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